Tag Archives: dirty talk

Sex Talk Sundays with Hillary

Illustration by Hillary Smith / Xpress Magazine

 

Is dirty talk sexy?

Hey weird humanoids. Welcome back to Sex Talk Sundays. Did you miss us? We hope so! Today’s topic: “Is dirty talk sexy?”

Well, what do you think… is it? What even counts as dirty talk? Can you use it on anyone?

My opinion is that of course it can be sexy! It’s one of those things you’re going to have to feel out. And even once you dive in, there’s no guarantee you won’t be turned off by how they reply.

Example:

Person 1: “You’re so sexy, I just want to lick you all day.”

Person 2: “Oh baby, I want to eat you up like the double bacon cheeseburger I had for lunch, with extra chili fries!”

Person 1: “…Uhh…”  *end of all future sex scenes with Person 2*

That may be a crazy example, but I have heard weirder scenarios. From my experience with dirty talk, which honestly isn’t a ton, I’ve learned it’s better once I know the person pretty well. Mostly because it doesn’t seem to come from left field, and they have a hunch when to throw it in. That being said, the nature of dirty talk to me is supposed to be a bit surprising – that’s what makes it exciting.

You may know the person, but when they throw in a “I’m gonna **** you so hard,” or “I’m not going to stop until you can’t take it,” ….well, it is exciting. As long as you feel safe, of course. So when it comes to dirty talk, I don’t see any hard-and-fast rules. If you’re curious, the only way is to test it out. And part of testing it out is bracing yourself for however it goes.

Maybe they’ll get weird about it.  But maybe they’ll get into it, and then you’ll get more into it. And you’ll turn into crazy sex freaks who can’t stop talking dirty! And start adding “in beddddd” to everything you say!

No, don’t do that – that’s weird. But, I think it can really add to hot and heavy moments. If anything, hearing someone you’re messing around with tell you “harder,” or “I love that,” can only make you feel good. Unless you have a fetish for being insulted, which is another type of dirty talk.

I do think it’s worth exploring a few times in your life, if you haven’t given it a whirl yet. Otherwise, it’ll remain an untapped commodity in your life. It would be like never trying a shake with french fries.

And if you have never tried a shake with french fries, then you need to cry. But it’s okay, you can wipe your tears with shake fries.

Sex Talk Sundays with Jay

Photo by jean_koulev via Flickr

 

After being on a hiatus and with finals ramping up, Hillary and I will be doing our last post for the semester. We have come a long way, and our last topic is dirty talk. Does one need it to kink up the sex or not?

So many of us crave it during sex, yet we often feel awkward doing or asking for it. Why do you want to talk dirty to your partner? Why do you want to call your girlfriend a filthy little slut? Because it’s hot. That’s why. It will turn you and your partner on, if you let it happen, that is.

Talking dirty is a skill that all men should master. It’s a great way to turn him or her on. But it’s not easy, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it because every relationship is different and every person likes different things. There’s a fine line between dirty talk and disgusting talk, and it’s hard to find a balance.

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to explore the mind’s darker fantasies – to play into a sexual scenario in the privacy of the master bedroom. You shouldn’t feel like a pervert just because you want to vocalize your sexual wants, whatever those wants may be. Talking dirty adds a layer to your cultivated sexual experience.

It can bring you closer to your partner and allow you to explore avenues you may have never ventured through before. It’s nothing to ashamed of; after all it’s sex. It’s supposed to be dirty, erotic, and most of all fun. The hardest part about talking dirty isn’t getting your partner’s permission, it’s coming up with what to say. If you need ideas, erotic literature is a good place to start, and no, I’m not referring to 50 Shades of Grey.

Unlike the library where you have to be subtle and quiet, this isn’t the case when it comes to dirty talk. Raise your voice. There’s a perfectly scientific explanation as to why we say the things we say in the bedroom.

Talking dirty to your partner doesn’t mean you want to degrade him or her. By calling your partner a “little whore,” you’re not actually saying your partner is a whore. You’re simply playing into a fantasy – a change of pace and social placement. If anything, being able to say those dirty, explicit things only emphasizes the trust and intimacy the two of you have as a couple.

If pillow talk makes you and your partner feel more silly than sexy, don’t beat yourself up over it. Ultimately, if you decide that talking dirty isn’t your thing, still having gone there and taken that risk will bring you closer together and make your sex life better no matter what.

If you have any tips, questions or suggestions for future Sex Talk Sunday topics, feel free to tweet me at @WWJAYD.