Sex Talk Sundays with Jay


Photograph by via Flickr.

Last week Hillary and I talked about sex tapes and the pros and cons of recording such acts. This week we wanted to talk about how soon is too soon when it comes to “giving it up” after meeting someone new.

When it comes to giving it up to someone, there really isn’t a guide for when it’s best do it. What I have learned is when you go out to the bar and it’s 1 a.m. or so, that might not be the best time because your inhibitions are slightly off-point and your judgment is clouded. I’ve been down this road in the past and the only feelings I’ve had afterwards were guilt and regret.

Now I normally meet people through friends or online apps such as Tinder. When I meet people through these outlets, I’ve yielded a higher success rate in terms of finding something with more substance as opposed to a one night stand following a drunken encounter at a bar. Perhaps it comes down to the individual and what the expectations are. I prefer deeper conversations of more serious topics such as long and short-term goals. After a couple dates, that’s when I find that bond with the person and feel comfortable “giving it up.”

I’m not sure what others might think about this, but I don’t like just giving it up and moving along. I did that in my early 20’s and was never able to find something serious.

When it comes to being intimate, I need two things: passion and communication. I want to experience something that’s not just a mechanical quest for an orgasm. And with communication lacking, it’s up to chance to see if what happens next is a hit or miss.

Something to keep in mind when potentially giving it up is to ask yourself what it is you’re seeking. Are you looking for quick gratification or would you like to have something more serious with potential for it to blossom? The decision is yours, and if you find that you may want something more serious, then stop yourself right before you give it up when you’re out at the bar drinking the night away.

If you have any tips, questions or suggestions for future Sex Talk Sunday topics, feel free to tweet me at @WWJAYD.