By Ben Pack
Photos by Frank Leal

You wake up, and through your squinting eyes you remember that it’s Sunday. You try to piece together last night, but somewhere between that second shot of Jager and the AMF you lose it. That doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters now is recovery. Most of society is already up and functioning, so you gather your friends and decide it’s time to go. Where to, you ask? Well we’ve got you covered. We have assembled five of the best hangover breakfasts for you to get set on your day. From greasy, to soupy, to meaty; we’ve got the bases covered. Now hurry, that essay due tomorrow isn’t going to write itself.

HRD Coffee Shop
521 3rd St

Go here if hungover on: Soju
Suggested Item: Korean Breakfast Cheeseburger $6.50

Let’s be frank. When looking to crush a hangover, you don’t need the classiest establishment around. You just need good food, and HRD has got you covered there. HRD offers both American and Korean options when it comes to getting your morning right. The restaurant was featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, but don’t let that hack Guy Fieri influence you, it’s actually a great place to eat.

The bright white walls in the front may be a little harsh on your headache, but after you pass through the door you’re immediately hit with the smell of grilled pork products and can move into the much warmer dining space in the back.

The item to get is definitely the Korean Cheeseburger. It’s a delicious burger topped with the traditional mayo, lettuce, and tomato; but also with hash browns, spicy pork, bacon, and a fried egg. These burgers are stacked high and may be a mess to eat, but they will easily crush any residual aches and pains caused by a late night out. And for only $6.50 they’re more than worth it.

Another option worth exploring is the Korean breakfast burrito. A burrito with two scrambled eggs, hash browns, cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, spicy pork or chicken, and kimchi all for under $6.

Breakfast is served until 10:30, so if you’re a late riser after drinking it will be a rush to get there in time but it will be oh so worth it.

Shanghai House
4052 Balboa

Go here if hungover on: Rice Wine
Suggested Item: Steamed Pork Dumplings 10 for $4.95

If greasy and fatty isn’t your jam when it comes to a hangover cure, why not try Shanghai House. It’s small, fast, and crowded. There’s usually a line out the door, and if you’re whole party isn’t there the efficient (read: fast but really rude) wait staff won’t even acknowledge your existence, so come in one car. That being said once you get in and seat yourselves around the table you will be transported to a world of pure imagination. And dumplings, lots and lots of dumplings.

Shanghai House offers many Americanized Chinese dishes, but you are better off just bypassing all of that and going straight for the dumplings. They only offer pork and vegetarian options for dumplings, but the quality of them makes it easy to polish off ten (or more) by yourself, and it’s worth it at under $5. Another choice, if you’re not in the mood for delicious soup-filled satchels of divinity, is the vegetarian goose, which is actually crispy bean curd stuffed with mushrooms for just over $4.

Boulevard Café
2 Poncetta Drive (Daly City)

Go here if hungover on: Vodka Redbull
Suggested Item: “The Hangover” $10.50

While just out of the San Francisco City Limits, it’s important to offer at least one choice to our commuting alcoholics, and if you’re coming from Daly City, Boulevard Café is where you want to be. Formerly the Red Roof Café, offers typical diner food at reasonable prices. But you don’t care about that. You want a big plate of greasy, messy food so you can forget about last night when you sang along with Rihanna in the middle of the club. Whatever dude, don’t worry about it, that was awesome. Those girls totally loved it.

If you find your way in this reputable establishment, be sure to go with the appropriately titled “Hangover” plate. Hash browns topped with chili, two eggs, cheese, green onions, jalapenos, tomatoes salsa, and toast. This massive plate costs a mere $10.50, and will not only cure your liquor hangover, it will also put you in a new, arguably less painful food hangover. If you want something a little more traditional you can’t go wrong with their ham and cheese omelette. But get the Hangover, man. It’s called the Hangover!

Pork Store Café
1451 Haight Street

Go here if hungover on: Microbrews
Suggested Item: Pork Store Special $9.50

When you wake up regretting having one too many, the only cure is meat. Satisfy this craving by paying a visit to the Pork Store Cafe, which specializes in, you guessed it, pork. Whether it be chopped, cutlet-ed, or baconed; Pork Store offers many delicious breakfast options when it comes to pigging out… on pig.

The atmosphere is very homely. You feel like you’re on a country farm with mom in the kitchen, cooking you up something special. Then you look outside and see all the hipster homeless and remember you’re in the Haight.

If you want to shed your mortal coil and transcend into a pork-fuled Nirvana, the Pork Store Special is for you. The plate is two of their signature pork chops, coupled with two eggs, hash browns, and a biscuit or toast. Another choice dish is the chicken fried steak. And if you’re a vegetarian, I’m sure you could get toast or something. But go home, you’re ruining everyone’s fun.

Sea Breeze Café
3940 Judah St

Go here if hungover on: Rum
Suggested Item: Chipotle Benedict $9.95

Why not wash away your nausea after a night full of pillaging with the salty sting of the sea. Located blocks from the beach, the Sea Breeze Cafe offers an extensive menu of breakfast options, as well as lunch and dinner. But you’re not there for that. You’re there because you need to get something in you to soak up last night’s sorrows.

The “house favorite” Chipotle Benedict will also be your new favorite. The special is the pretty straightforward: poached eggs and canadian bacon on an english muffin coated in a chipotle sauce. Let the spice wash away the residual taste of alcohol as you enjoy this spin on a traditional breakfast. Since you’re right there anyway, Sea Breeze offers plenty of seafood options, including a salmon fillet over eggs, if you want to be healthy or whatever.