Ten Things Not to Do on Halloween


San Francisco has lots of frightful fun happening all over the city this Halloween. But even though there are many events to choose from, here is a list of ten things to avoid doing tonight:

1. Do not dress up as an Ebola patient. Not cool. Same goes for a sexy Ebola nurse.

2. Do not dress up as a Kansas City Royals fan. Super not cool.

3. Do not tip over a Muni bus in celebration of the Giants’ victory—just chill out downtown at the parade instead.

4. Do not roll a pumpkin down Lombard Street. Who knows which way it will go?

5. Do not drink a bottle of pumpkin-flavored vodka and then try carving a jack-o-lantern. Put the knife down. If you have not done it by now, you have missed your chance.

6. Do not eat an entire bag of fun-sized Butterfingers without at least two packs of dental floss. You will be picking at your teeth for days.

7. Do not mess with the hundreds of bike riders filling the streets for Critical Mass. There is nothing more terrifying than being chased by Freddy Krueger on a bike.

8. Do not catcall girls in revealing costumes. One of them might be making a YouTube video.

9. Do not mess with the Killer Clown. There is nothing funny about that fool.

10. Do not dress your dog up as a giant mutant spider. Some brave soul will try squishing that adorable monster.